Not feeling enough
We may fear that who we are is not ok, right, loveable or good enough. We fear the pain of rejection, judgment and criticism and so it feels safer to live out inauthentic roles and wear self-protective masks.
People who feel unlovable might engage in people-pleasing behaviors and struggle with recognizing when someone is manipulating or taking advantage of them, this is because they believe that they need to earn love. A person who feels unlovable might have difficulty setting healthy boundaries.
So what creates the belief that you are unloveable and not good enough?
Most core beliefs are created when we are children. We form them to understand our experiences and protect ourselves. Childhood trauma is a leading cause of adults feeling unloveable. This might have been the loss of a parent or sibling, being abandoned or neglected by a parent, having a mentally unwell or addicted parent.
I believe we all deeply yearn to be seen, not just by others, but also by ourselves. We want to know that who we are at our core – our true, authentic self is beautiful, loveable and enough, and we want to feel the freedom of letting that be fully expressed.